Stamper's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[Sausage Factory]

ahkhijdj3eb

Keep scoring programmers and one day you'll rock a nice game out. As of now, it seems like ya'll are in some mad financial crisis...just slapping together zany ideas to try and profit off the rising net gaming trend. These are seriously like...sad game versions of your failure TV lineup.

Idea for your next game: Joey Rainbow - he's a RANBOW, and you fly around and shoot different colored beams at different colored things, and hotdogs are your health pickups - it's got a CRRRAAAZY story that your audience is gonna love because it's so off the wall and wacky! I mean, the last boss is a huge stack of pancakes that shoots lazers, and he has this hip black dude voice...just make sure to use a bunch of crazy eyesore visual styles an odd fonts like the visionaries you are, then GO HANG YOURSELVES. OH I FORGOT TO REVIEW YOUR GAME, IT'S FORGETTABLE AND NOBODY ON NG IS GOING TO LIKE IT, LINK IT TO ANYONE ELSE, OR GIVE A RAT FUCK IF YOU MAKE ANOTHER ONE.

SHOOT A MESSAGE TO YOUR CEO FOR ME: EAT A DICK. I CAN SEE HIM NOW, PENNYLOAFERS AND DOCKERS SHORTS, NICE TAN COMPLEXION AND PROBABLY OWNS A BOAT AND A REAL NICE HOUSE, YEAH? FEW GOLD CHAINS? TREATS YOU LIKE TOTAL SHIT AND DOESN'T CARE WHAT YOU DO SO LONG AS YOU PRODUCE? MAN YOU KNOW WHAT - YOU MAKE ME SICK BYE

[Help Kevin Costner!!]

AIM

stamperng

this game is gayer than fuck

mindchamber001

haha yah

just2pale responds:

HAHAHA If you think playing it is bad. ... try making it and listening to that damn song over and over!!

Thank for the reviews asshats!

[Super Ryucopter]

WHAT

WHAT

Lochie responds:

Stamper will vote 5 on anything hat has street fighter, or cocks.

[Stamper's Quest For Fags]

Uh...

WHERES THE FAGS I WAS PROMISED? I'M HUNGRY FOR BUTTERY DICKS.

Kevin responds:

Oh shit....

Ummm, well....

http://spamtheweb.com/ul/upload/02050 9/35671_Untitled-1.php

There you go.

[Red Baron]

YAWN.

I gave you a 10 for humor because it was so bad, it was funny. Either way, I'm sure you'd like a pro and con breakdown like everyone else gave, so:

*THE GOOD*
Nothing.

*THE BAD*
ALL OF IT, MAYBE?

Your efforts are 'charming', to say the least...but I suggest you both keep back-up plans for future employment, as this mediocre nonsense will get you nothing more than a few chuckles from...I dunno...GOOD artists and programmers?

FFF-AIL. PASS.

MindChamber responds:

could you plz tell us what we did wrong, so we can get better ?? :*(

[Higher and Higher!]

Ha.

ArmorGames has got to be the only company I know of that actually pays people to make worthless games that take no effort or creativity, and very minimal skill to produce.

Games were so much better when they were made with heart. Forking out a few hundred dollars for games like this is only perpetuating the downfall of the creative Flash community and should be taken as a personal insult to those who actually TRY and put EFFORT into their productions. Before we know it, the Flash world is going to become nothing more than a cut-throat war where a few bones is more important than the overall product, like every other business that involves creativity of any sort.

I know AG is desperate to get their name plastered on everything, but there's got to be a more noble way of doing so. This shit is just making me sad, above anything else.

Skeik responds:

Uh I know that now. I don't think anyone is ever going to read this ever but if Armor Games hadn't of sponsored this game I don't think I would still be making flash games today. This was pretty much my first decent game, even though it sucked and was a ripoff. I was only like, 14 years old, just learning how to code. I thought it would be cool if I made a clone of Icy Tower. I didn't really mean any harm by it and I wasn't even expecting front page.

So now, I dunno how everyone else feels but I feel as though my submissions are original. Maybe they shouldn't of sponsored it but it gave me enough motivation to keep trying to make better games, at least.

[PickleMan's Green Thumb!]

I love this game.

Finally something makes me feel good in a world that's made me hate myself because I'm fat and unappealing.

[Kitten Cannon!]

Fun.

This is cool. The farthest I launched that bitch was 1,368 feet...played this shit for way too long.

[Saved By Your Balls]

Fucking great.

Most of the people who gave this shit a low score got no clue what Saved by the Bell is, because it was before their time. Kids. Either that, or they just fake-ass macho pricks who can't lighten up and laugh at a few faggot jokes now and again.

NG is worthless. This game rules.

I almost beat it. :(

JeremyLokken responds:

Stamper! When's your game going up?

Yeah, this game wasn't made to be taken so seriously.

[Beeku's Big Adventure Ch1]

Dude awesome...

This shit is bad ass - reminds me a lot of Earthworm Jim. The backdrops are mad cool and the gameplay is fun. Dude the voices are bad ass too, this shit is like, flawless...I also like the music. And how baddies explode when you pop em'. Mad eye candy.

My only beef is that I can't shoot diagonal - enable bishop style shooting!

Keep it up fellas. Peace!

(STOP READING THE REVIEWS AND PLAY THE GAME NOW, PEOPLE.)

-Stamp